The line between pushing and violence

I was talking mainly from the context in which there is already 'blanket consent' for the man to use physical force to ensure his dominance. What if he does that without seeking her explicit consent first? Well, that wouldn't bother me much, since I prefer a man who's willing and able to push me around a bit. And I would much rather that he just takes the initiative on that at some point, rather than asking me if I would like it. (Although, he might approach it by starting with something gentler and gauging my response to that.) That doesn't mean that all women would like it, but some of us do.

Is that a dangerous sign of a potential abuser, a man who might later do some real damage? I suppose maybe it could be; but so could a thousand other things. What I would say is that if a man gets to the point of pushing me into a wall, then we are definitely at the stage where we need to start talking honestly about physical dominance and submission, and how to engage in that safely. That is, it's something that would raise a little red flag for me; but the next thing to do would be to figure out if it's a red flag of danger, or a red flag of fiery erotic passion.

What I would not agree is that a little push should get categorized as 'domestic violence' - or that it should be grounds for police intervention and mandatory feminist lectures on the glories of egalitarian relationships. Whether or not something is 'violence' or 'assault' should be measured not by how the person feels about it, but by the more objective criterion of what damage is actually done. I do think that society has gone way too far in the direction of leaping to the defense of anyone who claims they've been "victimized" in any way, be it by a harmless push, an insulting remark, or somebody looking at them the wrong way. Life is tough; unpleasant things happen all the time; deal with it. If you haven't actually been done any injury, then you have no business whining and wailing and trying to get everyone else in the world to gang up on your "oppressor."